Mama Taught You How To Use Social Media

You mom said it best

"You have 2 ears and 1 mouth.. use them in that proportion"

Ross Goldberg wrote that "the only thing that matters in social media is the first word social." He give some good advice for being social.

I'll add a bit by asking you -- Do you like it when someone is "socializing you"

Yes, be sociable. Just don't forget that Mom had the right ratio. If you really listen, and never force yourself on others, you'll be liked more and get more done.

Dale Carnegie taught in "How to Win Friend and Influence People" that the key to being social was to listen. Instead of hitting people over the head with your socialness, he suggested listening. In one story, he related how he quietly listened to a man for over an hour, paying attention and offering nothing more than a nod and agreement at times.

Later, the man was heard to say that Dale was the best conversationalist he had ever met.

Translating this to online technologies... You can't lurk (just read quietly). You have to do a nod from time to time. I suggest that you read blog posts and web sites with the idea that your acknowledgment and praise is the price you pay for reading.

Leaving a positive comment wherever appropriate is a great bargain. It let's the writer know you appreciate his work, it let's other readers know you are there and can build your reputation as someone who is up to date and expert on the subject.

Today I read Ross's post and wanted and thought "good job my friend." I'd usually post such a comment on his blog. Instead, I decided to tweet about it on Twitter so my followers could learn from Ross and write here to elaborate. I've placed a trackback (a link back the original post) to give some juice to the post.

When I link to Ross, people who read my post may hop over there, and the search engines all will follow the link and associate our posts for increase crediblity for both of us.

OK.. I've rambled a bit more than needed to say "good job Ross" .. I do hope you see that I was aiming to pass on some tricks of the trade.

Thanks for reading. Leave a comment or trackback so I know you've been here

Add to Onlywire

Twitcast Fun - We're Writing and Promoting Our Book on Twitter

Deb Micek and I are writing a book on Twitter.com call Twitter Handbook

We decided from the start that the book would be open source, we want to do whatever we can in public, using Twitter and social media to connect with Twitter users and those who want to know more about social media.

This week will be our 3rd Twitcast (a broadcast on Twitter). It's actually just the two of us working in public. After a few minutes, Deb and I hardly get anything directly back and forth, there are so many more people involved.

Last time, we tried to get Twitter users to post comments to our blog, most just wanted to add their 140 characters right on Twitter. So this time we are using BlogTalkRadio where Deb and I will chat with those that want to call in, while reading and responding to Tweets.

Not the quickest way to write, but a lot of fun.

Read Deb's blog post and join us Friday live on Twitter.

Follow @BookWarren and @CoachDeb

Giving Away Marketing Resources for Authors

Seems I spend most of my day dreaming up ways to give stuff away.

I'd say it's a fun job.. but I can hardly call it work.. more like "my life's bliss"

This morning, I started a new project over at Squidoo.com. When looking for a name, I thought "hey why not call it "free-book-marketing" and just make everything free there?"

So I did

http://BestSellerAuthors.com/squidoo

If you have a resource you think I should add, let me know. I'll be adding a lot more soon.

But first, go sign up free and grab a cool link.. there are many topics still available.

Then watch this space for tips and idea on how authors can market books on Squidoo.

I suggest every author, publisher and business get a Squidoo "lens"

When You Think About Someone, Let Them Know

When I'm out and about promoting and marketing books and authors, I meet a lot of people. Then there's my mailing list, my linkedin connections, Myspace, Facebook, Friendster.

Thousand and thousand of relationships. How do you keep up?

When someone asks me how I manage to know so many people, I smile and accept the compliment, but inside I'm thinking that I know that I miss more opportunities than I can count. (if you haven't heard from me, I apologize).

So now I focus on web sites, systems and tools that help make real connections.

Last week, a woman that I met last year sent a Facebook message to let me know she had told an author about how I can turn a book into a best seller and suggested he contact me to attract more readers. So far, I haven't heard from him, which is exactly my point.

I would never know that she thought of me if she didn't reach out and let me know

I'm all for doing good without looking for the reward, and appreciate that people make referrals, give testimonials and talk up a person or a product just because they want to help that person.

But why not make someones day and let them know you cared enough to think of them?

Once I got the message about the author needing book promotion, I sent a thank you reply and
that would have been the end of it.

Then I thought. Why not take 1 minute and return the favor?

I sent a message to one of my clients that might be interested in her services, then sent her a greeting card from Send Out Cards

Great service they have. In about a minute, I can send a real greeting card.. I just type in the name and address (or pull it from my address book that I have imported), type a note and hit send.

They take care of all the rest.

Have you tried SendOutCards?

What do you use to let people know you are thinking of them?

Post a comment and let me know you were here.

Fastest Way for Authors to Get Online

I'm here at BlogWorld to spread book marketing to new areas. We're seeing quick success for authors who blog and using more of my connections to help promote new books.

If you have a book blog, post a comment and tell us where it is. I'll visit your site and tell others to do the same

Author Advice from Ben Frankilin

My Meeting With The Famous Author

I spent this afternoon with Robert Cialdini (yes, the Influence guy).

Cialdini was speaking at the Fortune Small Business Conference and I went with my friend Donna Fox to record an interview with him.

I'll post a link to that interview when it's done.

He told us about some new information and I asked if I could share it. So you'll be among the first to hear..

On the subject of Likability, Cialdini told us that all of the sales training that says that you need to get people to like you is wrong. You know, the "find out what their hobbies are.. what you have in common so you can bond" stuff.

He explained that this will often come off as a fake. And here is the reason why.

To really bond with a person, you should focus on liking them. Really, sincerely liking the people you meet and want to influence. Once you find a real reason to like them, it's much easier for them to like you.

People buy from those they know, like and trust. The best way to be likable is to like people

It's Potter Time.. More Book Marketing Strategies

If you've been following my blogs for long, you've likely seen this before.. my supposed obsession with Harry Potter.

It all started one Summer night in 2005 when I was hating Harry Potter because our book promotions always fell short of beating him.. even for a day. But I started noticing how hard Scholastic works at selling more and more Potter books, and decided that there might be something to learn from these guys.

So I attended a Harry Potter Launch Party and ended up writing a series of articles on what I learned on my Marketing Secrets of Harry Potter Blog

Tonight, I'm writing from a Borders book store. The party and the promotion is much bigger.. there seems to be not end to Potter